When my anxiety goes through the roof it takes so much out of me to push through it because at times my anxiety and depression can be numbing. When things become too much for me the only thing I find myself doing is shutting down but what I have decided to do while it takes place is to channel my numbness to attract pain and remind myself that I am not gone because if I can feel the pain then I also must still be alive no matter how lifeless I may feel. Some may ask why I am so standoff-ish when it comes to numbness but will choose pain when the choice of the two presents itself👈👉 my thought process become wanting to simply fell human again. Any tiny glimmer of the memory of being sad, upset, hurt, scared, frustrated, confused, lonely, or even hurt is proof in my eyes that I AM STILL HERE! We all have seen glimpses of zombie movies that portrays human-like figures roam around endlessly with no emotion whatsoever. Heck, you can even attempt to inflict pain on one and yet still they will continue to go on carelessly.
Its quite simple accepting the negative emotions once you are reminded of the many times you overcame each one in the past. We seem to forget about our achievements while focusing solely on our disappointments only. Its simple to lose sight on our future when dealing with the bs of the present, trust me I KNOW THIS PERSONALLY! My life can be extremely frustrating because everytime it seems as if I made it back up again something else seems to knock me back down once again to the point all I can do is scream out why and ball my eyes out. Depression and anxiety is only part of the issue…having individuals around me ATTEMPT to COMFORT me NOW at this present time is beyond annoying because where were you guys before?! I rather handle it all by myself as usual vs. counting on someone who may or may not be there like before. *Now this is me venting but I know I am not the only person who can relate to this*
From me to you…keep on getting back up after each knockdown and even if others abandon you when you need them the most, always be there for yourself.