I was asked recently “what does your anxiety feel like” and frankly it took me sometime to be able to come up with a answer. Most times I am extremely good at not showing signs of it to the outside world around me but lately everything is becoming too much but not to the point that I am doubting my ability to handle it all though. Reason being that I have dealt with anxiety all through out my life and similar to the views of evolution I have been able to adapt to my current surrounding because of how I was able to handle it in the past. For myself I came to realize that I can no longer complain about my anxiety holding me back because I had to acknowledge the fact that if my anxiety was holding me back from anything I was the one who allowed it to have taken place. Many think when I speak like this 👆I am being too hard on myself but in reality I am just being honest. Having a mental illness doesn’t make you any less than anyone one else, it just means you have to try a little bit harder then the individuals who do not.
We can still hold down stable careers, have long lasting relationships, become wonderful parents, have our own businesses, and most importantly be valuable individuals of society. The only difference is that we just have to work a tad bit harder for it but we are no different from others because everyone has areas that they have to work harder in, just saying. It took me a long time to be open about my depression and anxiety because I didn’t want anyone to see me as a charity case, someone who is seeking sympathy from others, or worse use it against me whenever the person sees it as necessary. Moving forward to now, I am actually comfortable speaking about my diagnosis because I have taught myself to not allow it to define who I am as a person. Each accomplishment I achieve is the majority of what define the makings of me whether its big or small. I rather celebrate what has worked in my favor vs. what has not because the type of person I am giving up all together is not in my spirit. Life is not setup to be easy but it is setup to be a challenge and who doesn’t like challenges/beating the odds? Don’t allow anyone to tell you that the smallest of achievements do not matter because in reality each one do.
My anxiety tries to fool me into not trying to do anything that I set out to. The fear of the unknown weighs me down and mostly I would want to curl up into a ball and hide out until the feeling has passed. I do have certain triggers but thanks to help from professionals as well as close friends throughout the years managing my anxiety has became easier. In the far past those triggers would leave me paralyze for weeks but now the majority of the time I can push those triggers to the back of my mind and move pass the feeling. Being able to do that in itself is a major accomplishment that I am proud of.
The reason for this particular post is to tell everyone to do not just celebrate your biggest accomplishments because the tiniest of them matter as well. You can help your mind to stop focusing on their sizes and shift it to focus solely on the fact that you have accomplished another task in life whether it was on your list or not.