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Pain Can Be A Great Teacher

Unbreakable Queen

Do you recall when your parent told you not to do something but instead you still went on and did it anyway and ended up hurt because of it? The strange part is when we ended up doing the action continuously again, you would’ve thought one would have gotten the memo from the first time. This is something I find ironic but understand completely because I was the child who would keep touching the hot stove after being instructed not to and get upset because I would end up burned. How many of you do a similar thing now? Have you ever dealt with someone who you know isn’t good for you and may have hurt you before but oddly enough you keep placing yourself in the same situation thinking you will get another result? Ignoring the obvious is something that comes easily to those who prefer not to see what is standing right in front of them and yet still get mad when it happens all over again.

Just the same as when it happened in our childhood for some odd reason even though we experienced the aftermath before we choose to do it again. We damage ourselves by causing our own pain because at the end up the day we went through this numerous times before. For me I was notorious for doing this in many aspects of my life. On the personal side many years in the past I would do things that I knew darn well was bad for me but for some strange reason I kept on doing the same exact thing expecting different results. Thankfully I now understand that everything is not meant for you to have, specially when you know the negative effects from it and at a certain point you must let it register before history repeat itself.

If you are tired of getting hurt, disappointed, or stuck stop putting yourself in the same situation that caused it to happen to you the first, second, or even third time! Many would think its easier said then done (I was once one of them) but in all honesty one would do all that is necessary to prevent feeling that type of pain or discomfort again. After touching that darn stove the first two times you can bet I learned my lesson! Self reflection is a wonderful way of remembering your proudest moments as well as your most difficult and hurtful moments too. Looking backwards can work in your best interest especially when you are tempted to do the same self damaging act again. As long as you don’t go backwards remembering the sting can be good for you. Allow me to explain out of a chapter in my book.

After leaving my past relationship I almost attempted to go back by ignoring the pain he had put me through. Even though it can be difficult to understand why to most, typically the majority of domestic violence victims have thought about it at least once before. A few may have acted on it while the rest have not but it doesn’t make us ignorant at all because we made the choice to act on it or it simply just crossed our minds (Everything in life is a learning experience and this was ours). Speaking for myself I will be brutally honest and say after being isolated for so long from everyone besides him, my brain made me think that no one else wanted to hear from me. I collected all my strength together to walk away completely which left my strength running on empty and I didn’t have much left to run around giving explanations or making amends with everyone. At the time I concluded that my only option was to run back to the exact same situation that caused me the countless painful open wounds.

The only reason why I didn’t go was because while looking back I started to feel the stings all over again and decided not to. Even as a child I was taught a valuable lesson through pain. My experience with him was another version of the lesson taught by touching the hot stove. If something left you damaged, bruised, crippled, or extremely uncomfortable before learn from it and not let it happen all over again.

Published by Unbreakable Queen

What can I say about myself? I spent a lot of my life in a shell afraid to come out and see what the world can really offer me. Today, I am proud enough to allow my life lessons to help others. So if you are having difficulties with Depression, wanting to run away from everything, tired of constantly getting hurt, have a huge misunderstanding of the things life keep placing in your path, feel hopeless about your future, or maybe just wish life would give you a break already...I created my blog just for you.

17 thoughts on “Pain Can Be A Great Teacher”

  1. The pain we feel from a past relationship can be indescribable

    The pain I felt from my past relationship is something I have learnt from and hope not to repeat . Thank you for this heartfelt post, it needed to be said in the open.

    Well done💕👏

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  2. I am glad you have found your strength to let go of what is not serving you anymore. I find I go back to what causes me pain out of habit and a secured feeling from familiarity of doing what I know instead of trying something new because I did not know of its existence. So far what brought me the most pain and suffering is consuming love between two people where one or both feel like they could not live without the other person even though in actuality that is not true due to being away from true happiness. A tricky thing I need to overcome in my life and the reason why I started my blog. 🙂 Have a wonderful day!

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    1. It took a lot for me to do it but I fully understand where you are coming from. I am also glad you found an outlet (your blog) for yourself. Everything happens in the right timing but we all learn valuable lessons by pain and I’m sure you are learning as well. Thank you for reading my post have a wonderful day as well.

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      1. I do believe that even though pain is painful but I would rather have the pain and understand how things work because the experience is a much better lesson than just believing in what others teach us trough words and stories. Guess it was worth it 🙂 Many thanks for your sharing and your good wishes!

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  3. I’ve heard “Never return to what broke you.” Mine was a mentally ill, abusive mother. A lot of my going back was a hope that THIS TIME it would be different. Or THIS TIME I’ll be strong enough to protect myself. Or THIS TIME I’ll maintain more control of the situation. It never worked. The best thing to consider is, I believe, that THIS TIME I will love and honor myself enough to stay away. And reading this I’m going to meditate on the fact that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do enough to earn her love. But as a child of God, I can never lessen His love for me, and I don’t even need to do ANYTHING but trust Him. Thanks for being vulnerable enough to write a post that can encourage so many others!

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    1. For me, I thought that by showing him love he would do right by me or see how much pain his actions caused and stop but it never got better only worse. You have remarkable strength! Thank you for sharing your lesson through pain with me.

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      1. You know, that’s certainly possible. After all, my husband has been able to show me what it’s like to be loved. But I think there’s somethin’ wrong wid dat boy! 🙂 No, I think there are two reasons he managed to not walk out on me: he’s incredibly patient and slow to act (which also drives me nuts!) and he and I really believe God put us together. He’s not perfect, though! But I’d have to say that being able to help someone know how to love may be POSSIBLE, but it isn’t PROBABLE. Know your worth and never, ever put yourself on Clearance. You are an unbreakable…what? Damn straight you’re a queen! Now, get out there and rock that crown, girl! 🙂

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