Do you recall when your parent told you not to do something but instead you still went on and did it anyway and ended up hurt because of it? The strange part is when we ended up doing the action continuously again, you would’ve thought one would have gotten the memo from the first time. This is something I find ironic but understand completely because I was the child who would keep touching the hot stove after being instructed not to and get upset because I would end up burned. How many of you do a similar thing now? Have you ever dealt with someone who you know isn’t good for you and may have hurt you before but oddly enough you keep placing yourself in the same situation thinking you will get another result? Ignoring the obvious is something that comes easily to those who prefer not to see what is standing right in front of them and yet still get mad when it happens all over again.
Just the same as when it happened in our childhood for some odd reason even though we experienced the aftermath before we choose to do it again. We damage ourselves by causing our own pain because at the end up the day we went through this numerous times before. For me I was notorious for doing this in many aspects of my life. On the personal side many years in the past I would do things that I knew darn well was bad for me but for some strange reason I kept on doing the same exact thing expecting different results. Thankfully I now understand that everything is not meant for you to have, specially when you know the negative effects from it and at a certain point you must let it register before history repeat itself.
If you are tired of getting hurt, disappointed, or stuck stop putting yourself in the same situation that caused it to happen to you the first, second, or even third time! Many would think its easier said then done (I was once one of them) but in all honesty one would do all that is necessary to prevent feeling that type of pain or discomfort again. After touching that darn stove the first two times you can bet I learned my lesson! Self reflection is a wonderful way of remembering your proudest moments as well as your most difficult and hurtful moments too. Looking backwards can work in your best interest especially when you are tempted to do the same self damaging act again. As long as you don’t go backwards remembering the sting can be good for you. Allow me to explain out of a chapter in my book.
After leaving my past relationship I almost attempted to go back by ignoring the pain he had put me through. Even though it can be difficult to understand why to most, typically the majority of domestic violence victims have thought about it at least once before. A few may have acted on it while the rest have not but it doesn’t make us ignorant at all because we made the choice to act on it or it simply just crossed our minds (Everything in life is a learning experience and this was ours). Speaking for myself I will be brutally honest and say after being isolated for so long from everyone besides him, my brain made me think that no one else wanted to hear from me. I collected all my strength together to walk away completely which left my strength running on empty and I didn’t have much left to run around giving explanations or making amends with everyone. At the time I concluded that my only option was to run back to the exact same situation that caused me the countless painful open wounds.
The only reason why I didn’t go was because while looking back I started to feel the stings all over again and decided not to. Even as a child I was taught a valuable lesson through pain. My experience with him was another version of the lesson taught by touching the hot stove. If something left you damaged, bruised, crippled, or extremely uncomfortable before learn from it and not let it happen all over again.