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If I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW

Love was all I ever wanted from and I did whatever I could to keep him. Even if it was to only have him for month, a few weeks, or even for 1hour…Anything just to have the one person I loved. It didn’t happen the way I wanted and the fault I know now is I broke my own heart. My Self worth was determined on how he thought of me….forget about how I viewed myself none of that mattered because I wanted him. I lost myself by trying to have the love of someone other than me. I tried everything to try and make someone that I loved tremendously love me is quite laughably now. How can I have thought something of that sort would be possible? Love is something that can’t be explained because every person has their own definition for it and I highly doubt any two people will have the same definition. Maybe when I feel ready I will sit down and have the conversation before I involve myself in my next relationship…no time soon though. I have to heal emotionally, physically, and spiritually before anything like that happens again. UNTIL NEXT TIME EVERYONE.

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