THINKING OUT LOUD

I hate when I have the nerve to be ungrateful about my life! On many occasions I ask God to forgive me for allowing my situations to make me UNGRATEFUL. I also want to shake others who make the same mistake as myself because while we are so fixed on the negative forgetting about the many that has it far worst. In life we have only two CHOICES…EITHER

  1. GROW FROM IT 📉
  2. KEEP FALLING BECAUSE OF IT📈

WHICH CHOICE WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

I will start off with myself…GROW FROM IT📉 I have foolishly allowed in the past hindered my own growth & take full responsibility for it. I have grown not because my life is easy (many want their dream life) but because I AM THE ROSE 🌹 THAT GREW FROM CONCRETE CECE reminded me of this and I cannot THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR ALLOWING OUR FATHER TO USE TO BE MY PERSONAL SIGN🔦.

FAITH WITHOUT DETERMINATION IS POINTLESS! Every downfall should be seen as a lesson because it helps you to appreciate the gift even more once you finally succeed at reaching your destination. As a child who is attempting to walk for the first time, even then the child is taught to use his/her downfalls as growth but in order to achieve the ending goal the child must FIRST be DETERMINED to do so.

  • 💡NEVER ALLOW ANY TEMPORARY CIRCUMSTANCES TO INFLICT PERMANENT EFFECTS ON YOUR LIFE💡
  • 💡IN ORDER TO CHANGE YOU HAVE TO WANT & BE DETERMINED TO CHANGE💡
  • WORK GOES HAND✋ IN HANDWITH LIFE💡
  • 💡LIFE IS DRIVEN BY YOUR CHOICES ALONE💡
  • 💡STAY HUMBLE ALWAYS💡
  • 💡BELIEVING IS ONLY PART OF LIFE EQUATION; WORK, FAITH, LEARNING, DESIRE, PAIN, LOSS, FORGIVENESS, LOVE, ACCOUNTABILITY & DETERMINATION CREATES THE REST💡
  • 💡ALWAYS REMAIN TEACHABLE AND OPEN TO THE OPPORTUNITIES LIFE HAS TO OFFER💡
  • 💡DO NOT BECOME YOUR OWN ROAD BLOCK OR MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB💡
  • 💡DO NOT BASE YOUR LIFE ON SOMEONE ELSE’S💡
  • 💡DISLIKE THE CUTS ✂ BUT EMBRACE & BE PROUD OF THE SCARS💡

DO YOU APPRECIATE THE LIGHT🔦?

✋ALLOW ME TO SAY ON MY OWN BEHALF THAT I AM BEYOND THANKFUL FOR MY LIGHT & WILL KEEP ON SHINNING NO MATTER WHAT🔦

  • DEPRESSION DOES NOT DEFINE ME!
  • ANXIETY DOES NOT DEFINE ME!
  • MY PAST DOES NOT DEFINE ME!
  • MY CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES DOES NOT DEFINE ME!
  • MY PAIN DOES NOT DEFINE ME!
  • MY SURROUNDINGS DOES NOT DEFINE ME!

📌WHICH ALSO GOES FOR EVERYONE AS WELL📌

You are the only person who has the power to define yourself. All other opinions has no value or effect whatsoever over…WHO YOU ARE! DEFINE YOURSELF & HOLD ON STRONGLY TO YOUR POWER🔋!

❤OLD SOUL AT HEART❤

Listening to others is absolutely no problem for me because everyone wants someone who will not speak BUT TAKE THE TIME TO JUST BE THERE AND LISTEN *no judgement will be given* because I was taught that 💡EVERY SAINT HAS A PAST & EVERY SINNER HAS A FUTURE💡So…who am I to past judgement on another as if I HAVE NO FAULTS OF MY OWN💁? If I can help ONE person I will take that because feeling as if NO ONE ON THIS EARTH GIVES A DAMN IS ONE OF THE WORST FEELINGS IN THE WORLD! Remember *PERFECTION* is a myth that has the majority of society believing it is REAL. Everyone is UNIQUE in their very own way. Instead of accepting the truth many are killed under the knife 🔪 by attempting to make their bodies *PERFECT*. Most who DO go under the knife 🔪 usually go more than once because even though the surgeon did exactly as he/or she was asked something else becomes the problem.

🍜FOOD FOR THOUGHT 🍜

Until the person change their personal image of themselves nothing will help! I GUARANTEE IT! No amount of MAC, E.L.F., or L’Oréal Cosmetics will fix how the person see their selves internally. Make up is a wonderful tool 🔧 but it only fix the outside and has absolutely nothing to do with the issue within.

Any older adult can be young at heart despite their natural age. Have you ever encountered someone referring to another by saying *he/or she is young at heart ❤*? Had you encountered someone referring to a child by saying the child has an *old soul*?

👂Growing up I was told many times I have old soul👂…I actually believe I do but that is my own opinion concerning myself. We always ask how old someone is and that question is common. NOW THE QUESTION I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW FROM MY READERS…HOW OLD IS YOUR SOUL? LEAVE YOUR ANSWER BELOW & YOUR REASONING FOR IT 💬👇

I will start it…READY, SET, & HERE I GO‼ I BELIEVE MY SOUL IS 75 YEARS OLD BECAUSE I ALWAYS BEEN TOLD THAT I HAVE A OLD SOUL. WHEN I STARTED DATING MOST MEN I GRAVITATED TOWARD WAS OLDER MEN.

When I did try and date guys around my age it always ended horribly. I love old music and I am a true believer of the saying “there is a time & a place for everything”. I prefer to sit under a tree 🌳 and read vs. going out to any club or party. Being by myself is much more awarding vs. being the center of attention. (*I have an assumption that maybe my depression & anxiety is the cause*) I prefer QUALITY over QUANTITY…TIME over MONEY…IN-DEPTH CONVERSATIONS over TEXTING💁I agree with the age of my soul👍! LIFEHACKS link about having a 👉Old Soul CLICK HERE📚

GAMER OF LIFE

One thing I noticed that if your difficult situations do not BREAK YOU mentally or physically the battle is already won. It can be confusing when after one problem here comes something else even harder as if nothing will get back on track. I myself is DEFINITELY NOT a gamer 🎮 but I have known a few who are and after observing those individuals closely I come to the conclusion that after beating a LEVEL the next becoming more difficult then the last. It does in fact become much more challenging even AFTER winning the last…BUT if in fact you do not win that level and still want to continue playing you must start 🎮FROM THE BEGINNING OF LEVEL YOU JUST LOST FROM 🎮.

This observation taught me that everytime the situation I am facing is harder than the last REMEMBER HOW I TACKLED IT & WILL TACKLE THIS LEVEL AS WELL💡.

🎮SAME GOES FOR ANYONE WHO IS OVERWHELMED BY THE LEVELS THAT LIFE KEEPS THROWING YOUR WAY 🎮

📔KEEP THESE GAMER CODES CLOSE BY📔

  • 🎮 CONCENTRATE ON THE DESTINATION NOT THE JOURNEY 🎮
  • 🎮 ALWAYS KEEP A POSITIVE MINDSET 🎮
  • 🎮 NEVER LET YOUR FAITH IN YOURSELF VANISH PERMANENTLY 🎮
  • 🎮 DO NOT ALLOW A TEMPORARY SETBACK TO STOP YOU INDEFINITELY 🎮
  • 🎮 DO NOT JUST STEP OUT ON FAITH, ALLOW IT TO GUIDE YOU ALL THROUGH YOUR JOURNEY 🎮
  • 🎮 DO NOT ONLY SMILE 😃…BECOME THE REASON TO MAKE OTHERS 😃 SMILE AS WELL 🎮
  • 🎮 WHEN YOU FEEL YOUR LIFE HAS NO PURPOSE…CREATE ONE 🎮
  • 🎮 IN THE WORD’S OF BETTY WRIGHT “IN ORDER TO GET SOMETHING, YOU HAVE TO GIVE SOMETHING”
  • 🎮”IN ORDER TO BE SOMETHING, YOU GOTTA GO THROUGH SOMETHING”🎮
  • 🎮PLAY THE GAME, DO NOT ALLOW THE GAME TO PLAY YOU🎮
  • 🎮 IF THE DOOR IS LOCKED DO NOT FEAR TO KICK IT 🎮
  • 🎮 DO NOT GIVE AWAY THE POWER THAT BELONGS TO YOU🎮
  • 🎮 LOVE YOURSELF FIRST… BEFORE SEEKING LOVE FROM SOMEONE ELSE🎮

HERE ARE A FEW “SIGNS” for individuals who are desperately seeking one🌈.

🎁MY GIFT TO ANYONE WHO IS DESPERATELY ON THE HUNT FOR YOUR *SIGN*🎁

Let’s Have A Serious Conversation

Do you prefer LOYALTY vs. INTEGRITY 💁? The common choice to many would be LOYALTY and in fact their is absolutely no “RIGHT” or “CORRECT” answer for this particular question. 💡I have learned through life as well as maturity that it is absolutely normal to share different opinions with someone because naturally some may have almost identical situations but yet still not have the same exact outlook on it💡. This is where society as a whole differs because on one hand some may ASSUME that they can change someone’s mind but on the other hand some may try to but understand that it MAY OR MAY NOT happen and will not take it personally. *I AM THE SECOND TYPE OF PERSON*…Either we can agree or agree to DISAGREE respectfully as two mature adults.☺

Growing up I wanted *LOYALTY* in many parts of my life (friendships, romantic relationships, pets, school administrations, employment opportunities, and the list goes on). MATURITY however helped me understand that INTEGRITY is what I should be more invested in. Allow for me to explain my reasoning behind WHY…📝

According to the Merriam Webster 👈link here the definition of “INTEGRITY” is as follow👇

1: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility
2: an unimpaired condition : soundness
3: the quality or state of being complete or undivided : completeness

Now let’s see the definition of “LOYALTY” according to Merriam Webster 👈this is the link to it.

: the quality or state or an instance of being loyal

🔏DISCLAIMER🔏

My mind is a extremely rare piece of art along with many others but we allow difficult situations to undermine our TRUE GIFT by feeding our minds with destructive thoughts! 📌For example📌 LOW SELF ESTEEM made me think I was UNWORTHY of LOVE, HAPPINESS, BLESSINGS, GREAT CAREER, MOTHERHOOD, or even ANY TYPE OF POSITIVE COMPLIMENTS FROM ANYONE…The moment I allowed my heart to repair itself, my mind & sight followed as well. I am very thankful because I now see how powerful my mind has become without squinting every 10 seconds👀. Everyone has this awesome exact GIFT 🎁 but in order to reveal it you MUST *BELIEVE* & TAKE THE NECESSARY STEPS TO UNWRAP IT!

MENTAL ILLNESS, TERMINAL ILLNESS, PHYSICAL HEALTH OBSTACLES OR EVEN PERSONAL PROBLEMS ONLY HAVE POWER WHEN WE HAND IT OVER.

Let us now resume…I was recently asked why on earth does everyone claims “LOYALTY BEFORE EVERYTHING”? Realistically anyone can have LOYALTY toward another if he or she is benefiting from it…but the key 🔑 question is WHAT WILL IT BE ONCE YOU ARE HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER?

FOCUS less on who maybe at your table EATING WITH YOU…FOCUS more on who is around after once the food is gone!

Integrity is not given but taught📚…I PERSONALLY RATHER HAVE INDIVIDUALS WHO HAVE IT AT MY TABLE. LET’S HAVE A CONVERSATION💬 COMMENT BELOW…👇📝

What Hurts The Most

Which pain hurts the most EMOTIONAL PAIN OR PHYSICAL PAIN? This is a question I find myself wondering about at different moments throughout the day because I have had my share of BOTH and because of that FACT my opinion sides with EMOTIONAL PAIN.

Reason being I have heard on many cases from women who have experienced childbirth reporting that she wanted to have a “Natural Birth” at the start but 10 minutes in was pleading with the nurse for a epidural. The physical pain seems unbearable, correct? While trading stories the question comes to me asking “Have you ever been pregnant before?” *Depending on how I feel at the time I may or may not answer but on a few occasions I actually do.* 💁GO FIGURE💁 With this particular person I reply “Yes”. Fully understanding that another question was well on it’s way and I started anticipating it what would be coming next. After a couple of minutes passed I was asked about the location of my kids. Taking a few deep breathes I replied “in heaven” before attempting to smile so she would not feel awkward. “Oh my, I’m so sorry for your lost and I could not even imagine having to deal with something like that.” TRUTH BE TOLD I AM STILL DEALING WITH IT ALONG WITH A CLOSET FULL OF OTHER THINGS! I take everything one step at a time because no one has my trust unless it’s GOD himself other than that I am best solo.

The only request I have is for my FATHER to keep is hand over me. When I start feeling depressed I play a mental video of my life and vow to never backtrack into what I once was. EMOTIONAL PAIN led myself into drinking foolishly thinking that A FEW DRINKS CALLED “PAINKILLER” WOULD STOP IT.😂

PHYSICAL PAIN

Growing up I started cutting ✂ myself. My main item of choice was a razor blade due to the sharpness of it. Truthfully I cannot speak on WHY I started in the first place but all I remember is taking part of it. I do however can remember friends of mine doing it also..so maybe PEER PRESSURE OR WANTING BE LIKE MY FRIENDS AT THAT TIME. I also remember reading this book👇

Once my parents found out in counseling. To sum it all up even cutting could not over power the EMOTIONAL PAIN in my opinion. I tried stopping my emotional pain with cutting as I became older as well adding a few years more alcohol came to play also. Breaking my arm pain felt nothing close to the pain of giving birth to two stillborns. The intense pain of acknowledging that the guy I fell madly in love with was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Alcohol only numbed the pain for a few hours but once I became sober THE PAIN CAME RIGHT ON BACK STRONGER THAN EVER! If I had to make a choice on having to deal with either EMOTIONAL PAIN VS. PHYSICAL PAIN? I RATHER GO THROUGH THE PHYSICAL PAIN ON ANY DAY…that is something I can handle but the EMOTIONAL PAIN lingers on despite how many failed attempts to stop it.

Having EMOTIONAL PAIN is one thing but trying to make others understand it is even worse unless he/her has seen first hand the effects of such pain. At first I started noticing the people around myself would get annoyed with seeing my tears, daily struggle, and my solitary confinement that I kept myself in because of some of the experiences I went through. I actually decided not to speak of it at all as well as let those same “friends” GO.

I want to hear 👂from others who are reading this down in the comments on your take on EMOTIONAL PAIN VS. PHYSICAL PAIN…WHICH OF THE TWO IS THE WORST IN YOUR OPINION💬💬?

❤❤I RAN A CROSS A FEW QUOTES THAT SPOKE TO & BECAUSE I AMA HUGE BELIEVER OF *PAYING-IT-FORWARD* SO MAYBE THESE QUOTES CAN HELP OTHERS AS THEY HAVE HELPED ME❤❤

🔆BECOME THE LIGHT IN SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE AS WELL AS YOUR OWN🔆

MYSTERY AWARD

THANKFUL & BLESSED ARE A FEW WORDS THAT DESCRIBE HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW😃 4 DAYS AGO I WAS PRESENTED THIS AWARD FROM A WONDERFUL BLOGGER Riddhima Penner. She is extremely talented and her poetry is amazing📝…you will be missing out if you do not check✔out her page. *Here is the link👉 A World Of Fantastic Poetry 👈*

📌Speaking of a great blogger I want to introduce the creater of the Mystery Award Okotoenigma👈Check out her page also👀📌

THREE FACTS ABOUT MYSELF ARE👇🙈🙉🙊👇

  1. I AM A BOOK WORM📚
  2. PAINTING IS MY NEW FAVORITE HOBBY🎨
  3. I HAVE A HUMONGOUS HEART ❤ & WOULD HELP ANYONE, ANYTIME, AND IN ANYWAY IF I HAVE THE ABILITY TO DO SO😊

MY QUESTIONS THAT WAS GIVEN TO ME ARE…

1.) Who is your favorite author? My favorite quote from her is Maya Angelo here are few of a few of my favorite quotes the QUEEN💬💎💍 HERSELF👇

2.) If you’re was asked about any 3 wishes of yours, what would they be? *To have a time machine so I could do a lot of things over again-Be more fearless with my life-Lastly, I would be more passionate about the life I live NOW!💐 *

3.) What influenced the name of your blog? *My Entire crazy yet exciting life*

4.)What genre of books you like to read and why? *I like to read any books that is made into a movie 🎥. I love to compare the book to the movie and see the similarities as well as the differences of the two.*

5.) 🙉Weird Question🙉 What would you do if you were given the unusual power for a day of that would allow you to stop time? *I would take the time to out to PAUSE.*

📝THANK YOU FOR NOMINATING ME & I WANT EVERYONE WHO MAY BE READING THIS TO CHECK OUT THE BLOGGERS I HAVE LINKED TO THIS POST! YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED!

BROTHERHOOD OF THE WORLD AWARD

On January 18th of this WONDERFUL NEW YEAR 2018 gaillovesgod nominated me for the Brotherhood Of The World Bloggers Award. Even though many days have passed from the time I was nominated…BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!😊

CHECK OUT HER AMAZING PAGE👉GailLovesGod👈 is an amazing blogger who speaks from the ❤ and a sister of mine because WE ARE SISTERS WHO FATHER IS THE KING OF ALL KINGS 👑.We wear our crown with pride even if others may not see 👀 it! Thank You Gail ONCE AGAIN! She had given me some questions and here are my Q&A’s down 👇here…

  1. Where in the world 🌎 are you based? I am located on this amazing earth!
  2. What made you start getting into blogging? I always loved reading & writing so WHY NOT ATTEMPT SOMETHING NEW💁?!
  3. Summer or Winter? Winter⛄❄
  4. What makes you the happiest? I am the happiest when I am able to make others smile or happy 😊 HINT *PAY-IT-FORWARD*
  5. If you had to eat one food forever, what would it be? Spaghetti👍
  6. If you had one super power, what would it be? Fearless
  7. If you could change one thing in this world, what would it be? Everyone will PAY-IT-FORWARD on a daily basis! 💡So, whoever is reading this let’s do it!💡
  8. What are your some of goals for 2018? Smile more☺ Become healthier💪 & Become more in touch with myself emotionally👤…More on my new years resolutions👉 here👈
  9. Airplane ✈ holiday or Boat ⛵ Cruise? Airplane Holiday
  10. American or Europe holiday? Europe Holiday

In the spirit of Paying-It-Forward I have a few bloggers I want to nominate & the list is down below👇No time limit is place on this & no one is OBLIGATED to participate but check out their 📚GREAT TOPICS & IN SITE📚The blogging world 🌎 is massive and each & every blogger is unique in his or her special way!

  1. Love Survive
  2. MentalHealthYou
  3. TheCreativePTSDgal
  4. Beauty4Ashes247
  5. bebloggerofficial
  6. momof3isnuts
  7. girlinredlipstick
  8. WeGrowThroughOthers
  9. RawlingsGraphics
  10. WordsfromEliah

MY QUESTIONS ARE …

  1. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN BLOGGING?
  2. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
  3. WHAT IS THE TITLE OF YOUR FAVORITE BOOK?
  4. WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF YOUR BLOG?
  5. WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR ALL-TIME FAVORITE QUOTES?
  6. WHICH OF THE FOUR SEASONS YOU LIKE THE MOST?
  7. IF YOU HAD ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
  8. HOW MANY LANGUAGES DO YOU SPEAK?
  9. HOW DO YOU DEFINE “A TRUE FRIEND”?
  10. WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE PURPOSE FOR YOUR LIFE? *Explain in detail if you can*📚