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Numbness vs. Pain

When my anxiety goes through the roof it takes so much out of me to push through it because at times my anxiety and depression can be numbing. When things become too much for me the only thing I find myself doing is shutting down but what I have decided to do while it takes place is to channel my numbness to attract pain and remind myself that I am not gone because if I can feel the pain then I also must still be alive no matter how lifeless I may feel. Some may ask why I am so standoff-ish when it comes to numbness but will choose pain when the choice of the two presents itself👈👉 my thought process become wanting to simply fell human again. Any tiny glimmer of the memory of being sad, upset, hurt, scared, frustrated, confused, lonely, or even hurt is proof in my eyes that I AM STILL HERE! We all have seen glimpses of zombie movies that portrays human-like figures roam around endlessly with no emotion whatsoever. Heck, you can even attempt to inflict pain on one and yet still they will continue to go on carelessly.

Its quite simple accepting the negative emotions once you are reminded of the many times you overcame each one in the past. We seem to forget about our achievements while focusing solely on our disappointments only. Its simple to lose sight on our future when dealing with the bs of the present, trust me I KNOW THIS PERSONALLY! My life can be extremely frustrating because everytime it seems as if I made it back up again something else seems to knock me back down once again to the point all I can do is scream out why and ball my eyes out. Depression and anxiety is only part of the issue…having individuals around me ATTEMPT to COMFORT me NOW at this present time is beyond annoying because where were you guys before?! I rather handle it all by myself as usual vs. counting on someone who may or may not be there like before. *Now this is me venting but I know I am not the only person who can relate to this*

From me to you…keep on getting back up after each knockdown and even if others abandon you when you need them the most, always be there for yourself.

14 thoughts on “Numbness vs. Pain”

  1. Thank you for being so honest and open. I too live with depression and anxiety which messes with my physical health. Well, I guess it does all tie together. My emotions keep me frozen at home, which does not help me getting up and moving my arthritic knees. We have the internet!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your welcome and I do strongly believe it does but as long as we keep trying the possibilities are endless. The internet has both good and bad parts so I’m thankful we both found the positive side in it. With the right solution moving again is possible. Thanks for commenting💜

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  2. “She wasn’t sad anymore, she was numb and she knew somehow numb was worse.” -Atticus. Wow, if ever there was a quote with which I can relate, this one would be it. I spent the better part of my late teens and early twenties suffering with severe depression with feeling numb as the primary symptom. I felt like I had already died and often contemplated suicide.
    Yet, somehow God had other plans for me. Here I am some 3 decades later. I still battle depression and yes I appreciate the encouragement to get back up after a knockdown. Thanks for a great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. How about opting for joy, Unbreakable Q? Or perhaps bringing joy to someone else? It is possible to find joy in a smile, or a simple act of kindness. Looking outside yourself is an important part of living well. Good luck on your journey, and may Beloved grant you all the inspiration and connectedness necessary for you to be your best!//mm

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are certainly right that’s why I strongly believe in Paying it Forward also but when the only options are pain or numbness the only humanly choice for myself is pain because it reminds me that I am still alive. Thank you for your comment and I hope you are having a pleasant day☺

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      1. Unbreakable Q. — Your thoughtfulness has me wishing you always come out on top — triumphing over pain, and learning, wherever possible, your strength. At the same time, some pain is useful in teaching a woman what she’s made of, and capable of. :-)//mm

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