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Forgive Yourself First

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Many people want love but how many people actually accept it when it is truly authentic? As a child I thought I was in love with almost everyone l was dating. The phrase “I love you” back then came  as common as “Bless You” when I hear someone sneeze. Everyone has their own personal definition as to what love truly is so my definition and yours can both be correct but not to eachother as well as not to others also. One of my biggest lessons that I learned about love is you can love someone so much and if that person don’t want you the person just don’t. It is not humanly possible to make someone love you either they do or they don’t. Love cannot be forced or created it has to be there naturally. You can change your appearance, dress how the person would want you to look, change almost everything about yourself except your D.N.A and still the person you did all of that for will not want or love you. In the midst of trying to get the person to love you, unexpectedly you lose yourself in the process. Then the bitterness, anger, loneliness, and dispair sets in. After letting go of the one thing you were so sure of and wanted reality starts to creep in. Who am I? How on earth can I find myself once again when I cannot even recognize my own reflection in the mirror? In every relationship there are signs and whether we chose to ignore them or not the signs were there. You must understand the situation was a situation YOU created and because of allowing to ignore the signs you created the hurt you are feeling by yourself. The signs were there yet YOU CHOSE to ignore, push aside, or act as if it didn’t matter. Before you can move on you have to take ownership and responsibility of the fact he/she didn’t break your heart in reality you did. Forgive yourself first, then forgive the person.

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