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The Meaning of Love

      

 When you think of love, what comes to mind? Everyone has their own definition of love. No one has a definition that’s precisely right or wrong in the situation. My definition of love is unconditional meaning no matter how much the person has mistreated you the love will always remain. Different relationships that I have been in and out through the years taught me a lot on the subject and now as I look back on most of the them even though I felt it was love,  the truth is love was never there. I confused infatuation, strong “like”, caring deeply and lust with love. 

        I dated the same-sex also but my true love was a man who I fell in love with on and off for years. I made the choice to become involve while I knew he had a girlfriend but I did not care at all( karma will always find you). Fast forward…I did the typical if we had children he would stay(ALWAYS REMEMBER a child will not  keep a man). Every time I became pregnant by him we I ended up losing the child and that to me without a shadow of a doubtminds my karma. Any part of him I gladly took, even if it was only sexual. Using your body in order to make a guy stay doesn’t work also, but back then I thought for sure it would. 

       Women in general convince their mind into believing (like I also did) that by having a child the man she so deeply desires will stay. No matter how badly you want him a man will only stay IF HE WANTS TO. Maturity taught me that wonderful and tough lesson (the truth stings like hell but the quicker you realize it, the less  pain you’ll be able to inflict on yourself). Most women inflict the same pain that all along could have been avoided from the beginning.  While at the same time we blame the guy but take no responsibility for the signs we made the choice to ignore. For example:when I became involve with my first love he was still currently in a relationship and I ignored the red danger flag not *thinking if he could cheat on her what really made me believe he would not have done the same exact thing to me* I ignored the sign because I wanted to think maybe I can MAKE HIM CHANGE. The truth is I held no power to make him change, he had to make the choice himself to…To be brutally honest, I did not hold the right qualities in order to make him in his eyes want.

        In my eyes I felt differently because I would wear my hairstyles to his liking, eat the food he also ate (he was a fitness nut), and more to the point I lost my own identity in the process. He didn’t make me do all of that, I chose to thinking his mind was could be easily changed. Have you ever notice how someone you may have dated in the past for years that always claimed to be afraid of commitment after you two finally ended it can marry someone so quickly with no hesitation? My point exactly I mentioned before…Your qualities even if you may feel they are perfect in any and every way, honestly your opinion means nothing if it doesn’t correspond with his/hers.  Due to the fact you may be perfect but exactly perfect for someone who wants the same qualities the person is looking for. It doesn’t mean your worthless or something is wrong with you…It only means you are not meant for that particular individual but you are perfect for someone else. My ex was the type of person who would always run from commitment and viewed marriage as a scary subject to discuss. When I recieved the news on his marriage I became extremely heartbroken as well as a total wreck. For the life of me I could not understand how once again he didn’t choose me after everything we had been through together?!  Yes, I did date others and he did as well but strangely enough we would come back full circle to each other. I would drop a person with the quickness for him and truthfully I only dating the majority of them in hopes of him becoming jealous in order to want me back.( That as well was extremely disgusting, heartless, and insensitive thing to do.) *You will never win while you are playing dirty* He has however became engaged a few times but never took the final step to make it official until now.

       Strangely enough, once the hurt started to disappear I realized that truthfully I’m happy for him. I have seen him in and out of different relationships and before he became my first love our relationship was built on a solid foundation of friendship. He was my dearest bestfriend and I knew him inside and out to the point we could finish each other sentences. I know his likes, dislikes, favorite color, darkest secrets, type of women he goes for and more. (you name it, I know it when it comes to him.) That is why I have no bad feeling concerning him and his wife and I want nothing but the best for those two. His wife is gorgeous and fit his type exactly.  I do not know her in any way shape or form but seeing pictures of the two together I know for a fact she makes him happy and I am forever grateful to her for it. 

         The love I carry for him is unconditional and no matter the situation it will always be there. Due to that I love him enough to let him but also I love him enough to find his happiness even if its not with me. In my opinion that is what love is truly all about. Now, tell me about the definition you have concerning the topic?👂👀

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