TRUST IS EARNED! One of my biggest flaws is not trusting people due to my past. Instead of giving every individual the benefit of the doubt, I group everyone together expecting the worst in everyone. At a young age I was constantly taught and reminded *there is power in the tongue* Basically it means if you do not want something to exist, do not speak it to existence. By me not only thinking everyone is the same but speaking it as well I gave those words life and only can fault myself for it.
I now realize that despite one person may treated me horribly, it’s extremely wrong to make anyone to pay for someone else’s mistake that had no ties to them in the first place. I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me… So why would I do it to another? I know everyone should know one of the biggest golden rules that clearly states to “Treat others how you would want someone to treat you” Does this saying ring any bells for anyone?
My entire page is basically explaining all of the many life lessons I know now that I had absolutely had no clue about before… in hopes someone can use my lessons without the added stress I went through but not had the opportunity to avoid it that I’m more than happy to pass on to others. Life is exactly what you make it but it only starts with you, no one has the power to effect life whether good or bad without you giving the person the power to do so. Unless you relinquish the power nothing anyone does will ever have the power to affect you in anyway.*I CAN GUARANTEE YOU OF THAT!* In order to completely overcome the tough situations life throws our way we first must have enough strength conquer the task at hand or change our preconception of it. Commonly, most individuals tend to jump ship once life becomes a little rocky before taking a step back and weighing all of their options. For example (Keep in mind I will only speak on the situations I have experienced first hand in my life) The many suicide attempts was my personal way of jumping the ship. Not fully comprehending or acknowledging the fact that with each failed I came back a little stronger than before. Instead of dwelling solely on my pain I started seeking out my purpose trying to search for the answer to question as to why I am still here and by doing so when minor situations came up, instead of jumping the Ship I stayed on it because I experienced much worst and slowly not only did my confidence in myself came back but I became able to show others who may be dealing with something similar “Hey, if I was able to push through everything, you can too as well”.
I lost a few years ago a classmate and a dear friend of mind to suicide. At the time we were not on speaking turns and I don’t blame her for not reaching out to me by phone but she did however sent me a email. I still remember the call I received informing she decided to take her own life. Before doing so she kissed both of her kids and strapped both in their car seats before her husband took them to daycare as if everything was perfectly fine. The only indication of confusion anyone had was concerning a Facebook post she made telling everyone she’s on her way to visit her father shortly and she has always been a “daddy’s girl”. To anyone that didn’t really know her that particular post would seem harmless but if were close to her you would scratch your head in confusion because her father already passed and his gravesite was in a whole other state if she truly wanted to visit. Her kids was her entire world and she would’ve both of her kids to go also. Looking back in the past I was extremely anger with her and also with myself for allowing a little misunderstanding to break up our friendship not knowing that I will never get the chance to patch things up between her and I. At the same time I was angry with her for allowing something that much power over her to the point her kids will have to grow up without their mother, her husband has to deal with the suicide of his wife as well as the many individuals of family & friends questioning how on earth he had absolutely no clue about her wanting to commit suicide.
Her suicide showed me that even though her suffering may have stopped the suffering of her loved was just begun. Every time I wanted to jump ship these are the things I remember and more than likely the feeling will pass. Her story helped me and hopefully it has the power to help others to.