LOW SELF ESTEEM, DEPRESSION, and LACK OF CONFIDENCE all goes hand in hand. I literally would turn every single mirror in my room around because the reflection of the girl I once knew didn’t exist anymore when I would walk pass the mirror or try to fix my outfit. In order to not allow myself to breakdown in front of friends and family I made the decision to avoid all mirrors. Even though I thought my family was fooled deep inside my immediate family knew what was going on. I went from loving myself to hating my reflection on a regular basis. Since I had zero confidence in myself how was I going to accept the opposite sex opinion of me? See, the problem that most individuals won’t comprehend is the fact that reguardless of your views about someone’s physical look doesn’t matter because as long as the person doesn’t value themselves the opinions of others will never matter! Until the person start to have confidence in themselves everything else will be pointless.
It took me a long time to start getting my confidence back and change my inner soul and allow my light to reflect on the outside as well. My bed was where you would find me if I was not working. From Sun up to sundown my bed became my best friend, lover, and more. If I was up on my day off the bottle was my counselor and if the emptiness was still there sleeping pills at the time was my getaway. My confidence was light years away despite how many times someone would call me gorgeous, beautiful, stunning, or breathe taking.
I remember laughing at a guy because he gave me a compliment…*thinking to myself he must think I am that gullible and stupid to the point I would actually believe him*. My thought process was that horrible exactly…Thankfully with the help of others I am slowly but surely becoming a better woman and moving forward. Each morning I proudly walk over to the mirror great myself by saying “GOOD MORNING BEAUTIFUL…HAVE A GREAT DAY & KEEP SMILING”. If you can relate to the feelings I have shared try it for a entire week and let me know if it helps. Before anyone can compliment you, try complimenting yourself first. If you don’t care for something physical on yourself either do something about it or change the way you think about it…life is exactly that simple. Negitivity only exist where you allow it to….You cannot change your past but you have the ability to shape your future to the way heart desires. Allowing my depression and insecurities to control my life was a decision that I foolishly made. So, I had to take my power back and change the things I want to change and change the way I think on certain situations that I cannot. Life is simple in my opinion…I realize that WE are the ones who allowed it to become difficult. TAKE YOUR POWER & CONFIDENCE BACK!