Relationship Goals

Due to a change of scenery I wanted to change the topic to relationships for a minute, while at the same time certain situations are more tricky due to my Depression as well as anxiety and a few other factors which makes me very iffy on the subject. Love is something many people want but at the same time in my case I honestly get so terrified whenever it comes up. For instance a friend of mine asked when I would decide to finally settle down…the question made me wonder because when it comes to me the question is very common. If I had a dollor for everytime I have been asked my bank account would be set for the rest of my natural born life. *Truthfully, I wish it was that darn easy* I don’t feel anyone should start a relationship while their heart is in remission…Not only do you hurt the new person you became involve with but you also repeat the same cycle of hurt that previously caused pain to you…why caused that situation when easily it could’ve been avoided from the start. Have you heard the phrase “In order to get over someone you need to get under someone else”? My honest opinion of the saying is the quote is completely and 100% untrue. ONLY HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE…So why inflict the pain you experienced onto someone who didn’t treat you badly?

If anything be honest and fall back until you are emotionally stable to love yourself first, only THEN you will be able to love someone else. How can anyone expect someone to love the person when you don’t have love for yourself? How can you tell if the individual’s love is authentic when you have no authentic love for yourself? My last relationship was a relationship I should have never been in at all. I barely loved myself and ignored all the signs in the beginning. Truth be told we were better as friends which we could never go back to that because the damage is already done. Plus it’s true when they say “you don’t really know someone until you actually live with the person”. After that everything went completely downhill. Not saying he was the problem but you cannot mature properly if you do not take responsibility for your own actions. I absolutely take responsibility for mine and while doing so I had to come to grips with facing the fact I was lonely for the most part, instead of finding a hobby I chose to get into a relationship when I wasn’t ready to from the beginning. He would constantly accuse me of cheating when it was him from the beginning. Strangely enough at first I was upset but looking back I gave up on us way before that…I don’t know alot about men but most women *including myself* will check out of a relationship mentally before any man notices. He lost me awhile back but I kinda think he figured that out but I am not exactly sure. All I know my mentally checked out for many different reasons…

One of my biggest deal breakers when it comes time for me to go back on the dating scene again is RELIGION. I am a proud Christian woman so in order for me to even consider any form of relationship I need a man who loves the Lord just as I do. My walk with God has been a rocky one and since I know for a fact He has blessed me repeadily…I refuse to backtrack due to that fact alone. When it comes to different religions I cannot judge anyone on their particular choice and I have no problems with someone who doesn’t have the same view as me but at the same time don’t force your views on me as well as me forcing mine on you. Everyone has to respect each other and agree to disagree. If you have questions I will gladly answer them to the best of my ability. In reality most groups that try to make others believe in their particular views should understand to allow your actions to speak for them. *EXAMPLE*When I meet people want to know how I am able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and smile despite what may have been going on around me…By me giving credit to God makes the person want to learn more…My actions spoke to the individuals before I was ever given the chance to open my mouth.

Now back to the matter at ✋…Before I can even think about a relationship…I rather wait for the “right one” then to try and find a man on my own. Which is wrong from the start…*A man finds his wife, The wife DOES NOT…I REPEAT A WIFE DOES NOT FIND HER HUSBAND* Now that as women we know this please stop searching for a man! I was the type of female who would think I’m on a timeclock (I discovered that the timeclock most women have created is only in their mind) and every age has certain points I should have completed. Each timeclock that most women create can lead them in the wrong direction because instead of taking their time and admiring the scenery, the majority of most women run trying to finish quickly. When in reality rushing in general would leave someone to settle without fully understanding that you are settling for less. *Hint…Hint* The right man will find you but in the meantime become a better version of yourself not just for you but also for the type of man you want to attract….”Birds Of A Feather Flock Together”.