For a long time I have been taking sleeping pills due to my insomnia and I am a very tough individual when it comes to be able to fall asleep on my own accord. I have tried COUNTING SHEEP, READING, & WATCHING MOVIES to be able to fall asleep on my own without the need of the pills I take on a daily basis to sleep. To be brutally honest I dislike the way I must take them in order to catch a few hours of sleep and if I do not have them the chances of me sleeping is ZERO to NONE. This bizarre cycle has been going on for over 5 years now. I have tried the natural approach with taking Melatonin in pill, drink, and fruit chew forms but no amount would ever allow me to rest. I even attempted giving Aromatherapy a try but nothing has allowed me to receive the rest I have been attempting to achieve but the pills I take on a regular basis.
How can I continue to keep this up? The times I have tried to quit functioning with only a limited amount of sleep will only keep a person clear headed for only a limited time now add anxiety attacks in the mix I folded each time before because I was not driving myself crazy but also my few friends as well and so I would give up trying for everyone’s sake. To make myself a functional and decent individual again I would continue taking the pills that would put me to sleep. Everyone think I have absolutely no problems unless I allow him or her in which is something I rarely do because of the hurtful people I opened up to in the past which helped me shape my mind frame when it comes to being transparent with the people around me. I can forgive but the hard part is the “FORGETTING” because when certain things become Déjà vu I have a tough time putting it on the back burner. This is something I am constantly asking my heavenly Father to help me with including my Insomnia and to be honest I am more than confident He actually is because I am able to walk away from something before Déjà vu drive me completely insane due to the problem at hand. What I do have to keep in mind and focus on is this down below👇
To the people around me I am no longer ashamed of being thought of as “ODD” or “ABNORMAL” I prefer to focus on something that I know I can do which is being able to sleep without the need of any sleeping pills. That is where my focus is at this given time. To help better explain why these sleeping pills became a common crutch of mine allow me to see if I can explain a tad bit better.
- Never was prescribed by a Medical Physician of mine.
- I was told that the prescribed Antidepressants should also helped me with my Insomnia if taken at a later time.
- After multiple changes to my medications with zero success I had come up with something to “help” myself.
- This at the time was what I assumed to be my last resort and now that is how I became in my current situation!
When it comes to being me I have developed a quiet, calmer, much softer mode. Instead of freaking out because of my anxiety and frustration I actually find myself praying until that particular storm passes. Everything I speak on comes from the heart because I want to help those who may figure he or she is hopeless, unworthy, invisible, useless, and/or unloved. Speaking on my current dilemma proves I am Still/Yet a work in progress with my faith tightly attached. While motivating and inspiring myself a much added bonus is being able to do so for someone else.