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My Depression

I find joy in helping others no matter what I may be handling privately. Depression is such a dreadful feeling of hopelessness which many people do not have the mental capacity to fully understand. Depression is not something that can be fixed with a single finger snap or clicking my heels 3xs. Trying to make others fully understand Depression is exhausting and mentally draining which I have absolutely zero time in my compact day to even attempt to anymore. I cannot even count the times I have heard the phrase “Its all in your mind and you should just get over it.” If I actually would all my financial debt would be completely wiped out and my bank account would be set for the rest of my life. In a sense I actually wish it was that simple but unfortunately it is not.

Naturally growing up I was a happy yet adventures child who would always walk around with a gigantic gorgeous smile on my face but starting in to my early teenager years my smile first started to slip away and it was not by my own personal doing. It somehow and someway started to happen. At first I was put in Christian Therapy and still became numb overtime feeding to my parents whatever they wanted to her. After being in therapy for awhile I would trick the professionals as well just so I was deemed “normal” and wasn’t made to attend anymore.

When I did confide in my peers about my true actual feelings at first I was handled with delicate care but when the friendship ended or we may have gotten into a horrible place. Here is where the hurt has been inflicted on myself from the same individuals I thought were my friends. This is when my trust in people died because I trust no one to be completely honest…no family…close childhood friends…absolutely no one but GOD.

I am actually trying to breakaway from that mentality and I AM STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS. I have personally dealt with the majority of my issues but still not completed more than half yet. All in all I have FAITH that I will overcome the things that I have foolishly let weigh me down mentally as well as physically. All I can do is try each day to the best of my ability. The greatest thing that actually came out due to my Depression is making a stronger bond with my Father because after everyone who decided to walk away from me the only person who remained to keep me focused on the light at the end of my tunnel was my wonderful Father who never let go of my hand even when I tried to let go of his. HIS GRIP NEVER LOOSENED, NOT EVEN FOR ONE TINY SECOND.

🙏AND FOR THAT ALONE I AM INDEED GRATEFUL & BLESSED🙏 I would love to hear about others who are battling Depression like myself as well💬

67 thoughts on “My Depression”

  1. A very encouraging post on what plagues everyone of us.
    Some of us are not so brave to accept it and fight it and just lead their lives in a state of suspended animation

    Liked by 4 people

      1. The fact you have someone there for you (Dad) That is amazing… Some individuals have no one.

        Hold on to his hand tightly and don’t let go…

        That’s called –

        HEART!
        CLARITY!
        COURAGE!
        LOVE!
        INTEGRITY!!!
        XOXO

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you and I am trusting in Him to guide me through this journey I am on. For the ones who are wanting someone to lean on too, my Father will do the same for them as well if he or she allow him to.💗💗😉

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  2. I know how difficult depression can be! My husband has been suffering with it for a long time now and he won’t get the help needed. I am doing my best to help me through, but it is honestly draining me. I feel that anyone with depression needs to be supported and cared for, not dismissed. I thank you so much for sharing this very encouraging post as it was so incredibly helpful. You are an amazing and strong woman with so much courage. Thank you for all you share!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read my post💓. Do you have an idea as to what may be triggering it? I have been suffering from depression since I was a teenager and had found a way to cope with it. A series of events brought it back to the surface and body was immune to the normal coping mechanisms I once used before. Its draining but I have no doubt that being by his side is helping more than you know. Because part of the tricks Depression play with the person’s mind is feeling as if you are alone when in fact you truly are not. So, I applaud you for being there and sticking by his side. I know due to your situation it becomes extremely overwhelming at times but you are tough enough to handle it & you will do just that as well as more😉

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      1. I think his depression started after his grandmother passed away and then he lost his job. He also started dealing with addiction and that makes him feel bad about himself. It is definitely hard on me to watch him decline, but I am hopeful that things will get better. I hope that me standing by his side is helping him and I am not enabling him to do nothing. I really appreciate your comment, it was truly helpful!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you! He does admit to appreciating me and says he probably would not still be here if it wasn’t for me. I just really wish I could do more to help him enjoy life, but I know that I really can’t. I think the healing from depression comes from inside that person, but maybe I am wrong.

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      3. No, in fact you are in my personal opinion 100% correct and allow me to explain why. Even though everyone around me seen a problem as well as myself also. Counseling was something I mastered to the point the professionals felt I was on the right track. My joker face was solid even though everything was still the same. The exact moment everything shifted positively was when I realized that I cannot keep this going and wanted the help for my own self. So yes the healing do start from within.💡

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      4. Thank you so much for saying that! In my heart I know that I can not fixed the issues he is having, only he can do that. I just hate sitting on the side lines waiting for the storm to pass, I want to jump in with the rescue umbrella so to speak. I have always been a fixer!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I have depression for about two years now, I think. It was diagnosed about a year ago and I know I should get help and talk to people about it, but that is very hard. My family and friends know I have depression, but I still don’t show them how bad it really is. There are a few moments where I am strong enough to show them a glance of how I really am, but most of the time I’m wearing a mask. I often want to talk to them, but when they’re sitting in front of me I can’t talk about it. I actually want to start therapy for a while, but somehow I postpone it subconsciously.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I can honestly say that you have done the most hardest part already and that is admitting to your own self that you are depressed. I kept my mask on for years but suddenly one day the mask I had on started cracking and falling to the floor. It is so much better to voluntarily remove it yourself vs. having a mental breakdown because of you not being able to fake it anymore. We all would love to be strong 24/7 but its ok to ask for a little help from time to time and take a much needed break. Counseling is very helpful because instead of showing your loved ones a little glimpse speaking to someone who is a custom to it on a frequent basis may take some of the edge off for you. You never know unless you give it a try. By the way THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ AND COMMENT ON THIS POST😉

      Liked by 2 people

  4. It’s amazing how you can have what seems to be the perfect life but still suffering quietly from the inside. I wish sometimes that I’d wake up without feeling this way. I was going to put normal but what is normal. Excellent blog thanks for putting it up.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Your welcome! Your choice of words fit Depression perfectly because why would someone to be “NORMAL”? Who has the correct definition of the word “Normal” anyway? How about we say “I am my own type of normal”?! 💗💗

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Loved this..!
    I’ve been through depression myself and have written a poem on the same..
    It’d mean a lot to me if you could take out some of your time and take a look at my poems and even give your thoughts on them..
    Lots of love and thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. “It’s all in your head” really infuriates me. Like yes it’s “in my head” which is why it’s so difficult to get rid of. The mind is really powerful so when people try to downplay depression as something that’s just “in your head” is foolish. I’m sorry that your life has been difficult but I’m so glad you are still here and persisting forward. 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Created a place in my head to drown out what others may think about Depression but if they are willing to go indepth about it and really want to know the truth I am open to have a conversation about it. Thank you for taking the time out to not only read but leave a comment as well!☺

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  7. Thank you for commenting and I welcome all comments from others. I did however go back and read the post of yours you recommended. My question to you know is why would you recommend myself to reach out to you about the topic when you stated that in your post to only listen to the holy spirit vs. someone else? Sometimes God will place you in a situation not because He’s punishing you but to use you to speak on his behalf without ever opening up your own mouth. Depression is no way a form of punishment because in my life Depression has helped me in my walk of Faith and in return my focus is on helping others who may have similar problems in their life as I have had in the past. He will place you in a situation to remind you just how much strength you actually have deep down inside. He already knew but you but many has sadly forgotten. I am thankful for you being led out of Depression! While some may take longer than others He was there the entire time no matter how long it may have took. Everyone interpret the scriptures in the bible differently. Blessings to you as well 🙏.

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  8. Hello unbreakableyetfragile, thanks for this post, I can relate to it so well, suffering from depression myself. I don’t think most people not affected by it, take it very seriously. They certainly don’t understand it and feel you are less of a person. I feel stigmatized.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I can’t find someone I can talk to. The people around me are faith believers and expect me to be okay. What I enjoy doing which is my work I can do. This gives me even more time to with negative thoughts

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    1. Understandable. It can sometimes seem as though for people to understand depression either the person have to have it or see first hand someone that they are close to working through it.

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      1. It may seem that way but you have to program yourself into seeing the positive in everything. At first it may seem difficult to do but down the line it will start becoming easier for you.

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      2. Thanks will try. If I my ask. Is it okay to take unti-depressen medication? Or I should just think myself positive then I will be okay?

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Please check my latest post ‘Insecurity, Anxiety and Depression’. It’s specially for parents to know and understand better about their children and what they’re being going through. It’s really important to spread awareness and saving lives of our precious little kids. You’re doing great work. God bless you.

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