I find joy in helping others no matter what I may be handling privately. Depression is such a dreadful feeling of hopelessness which many people do not have the mental capacity to fully understand. Depression is not something that can be fixed with a single finger snap or clicking my heels 3xs. Trying to make others fully understand Depression is exhausting and mentally draining which I have absolutely zero time in my compact day to even attempt to anymore. I cannot even count the times I have heard the phrase “Its all in your mind and you should just get over it.” If I actually would all my financial debt would be completely wiped out and my bank account would be set for the rest of my life. In a sense I actually wish it was that simple but unfortunately it is not.
Naturally growing up I was a happy yet adventures child who would always walk around with a gigantic gorgeous smile on my face but starting in to my early teenager years my smile first started to slip away and it was not by my own personal doing. It somehow and someway started to happen. At first I was put in Christian Therapy and still became numb overtime feeding to my parents whatever they wanted to her. After being in therapy for awhile I would trick the professionals as well just so I was deemed “normal” and wasn’t made to attend anymore.
When I did confide in my peers about my true actual feelings at first I was handled with delicate care but when the friendship ended or we may have gotten into a horrible place. Here is where the hurt has been inflicted on myself from the same individuals I thought were my friends. This is when my trust in people died because I trust no one to be completely honest…no family…close childhood friends…absolutely no one but GOD.
I am actually trying to breakaway from that mentality and I AM STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS. I have personally dealt with the majority of my issues but still not completed more than half yet. All in all I have FAITH that I will overcome the things that I have foolishly let weigh me down mentally as well as physically. All I can do is try each day to the best of my ability. The greatest thing that actually came out due to my Depression is making a stronger bond with my Father because after everyone who decided to walk away from me the only person who remained to keep me focused on the light at the end of my tunnel was my wonderful Father who never let go of my hand even when I tried to let go of his. HIS GRIP NEVER LOOSENED, NOT EVEN FOR ONE TINY SECOND.
🙏AND FOR THAT ALONE I AM INDEED GRATEFUL & BLESSED🙏 I would love to hear about others who are battling Depression like myself as well💬