Yesterday was very draining mentally, physically, and emotionally because no matter how upbeat I was my surroundings were so negative. I am the type of indivual who used to display everything on my face and say however I am feeling. My filter in the past did not at all exist back then but maturity helped me discover it and allowed me to master the manual. Maturity also taught me despite what is going through in my personal life never allow the situation to interfere with your EDUCATION, EMPLOYMENT, OR OUTSIDE EXPERIENCES.
I discovered CRYING is needed and since I had a draining yesterday…I have no problem to admit that after finding a place of solitude my intense crying session began and releasing everything out felt AMAZING! Constantly I had to remind myself that the around has no clue how difficult it is for me to SMILE because of everything I went through over the years. So many people that I “THOUGHT” were my friends did wrong by me that I do not open up to anyone for a long time because of it.
I now have no problem with allowing others to see how far I came without ever opening my mouth. Maturity taught me to allow my actions speak for me. Drinking my problems away only helped me for a short time but after some self reflection I now know that most Alcoholics are damaged indivuals that are trying to run away from their current situations. Yes, drinking socially is one thing but most alcoholics drink for the numbing feeling that comes with drinking alcohol. Why would anyone want to *FEEL* in that manner 24/7? Our body easily builds up a tolerance to the things that are *INTRODUCED* constantly into our systems. Since our system is accostom to acholol the drinker has to keep allowing more into their system to seek the feeling that they had once before. This where the word *ALCOHOLIC* comes in.
I highly doubt that in the beginning most would drink that high of a amount for kicks and giggles…Money is the one thing especially in today’s society everyone is chasing “The Bag” or “Money Bag” or “The Bank Account With Alot Of Zeros Behind It” Alcohol has messed up alot of employment for many Alcoholics.
Whatever they are running away from is greater than losing their financtual stability. If he/or she has children than their children are also at risk. How can any single parent provide for a child when he/or she cannot provide for theirselves? Do you think the feeling is so good that the person would *knowingly* risk so much without any underlying problem eating away there life bit by bit? Remember this is only a opinion of mine…so while some agree some may not and I can respectfully AGREE TO DISAGREE.
The ONE great that reminds me to keep going is meeting someone who doesn’t know anything about me but says the most inspiring words out of the blue. FOR EXAMPLE …I met a older woman who told me my SMILE is perfect despite what my mind may trick me into believing…She also told me that I have to never allow someone to steal my joy. Silently she asked if I was a Christian and I smiled while nodding my head…She whispered in my ear that “He uses the most damaged vessels to show and lead others back to him as proof to the world no matter how cracked you are He will still shine his bright light through.” Remember how I spoke on *SIGNS*
Say No More I See It! Foward is the only way I am headed and I just want everyone tears are NOT BY MEANS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS. Allow that thought to escape your mind and instead of allowing yourself to stay down in the hole you feel in DUST YOURSELF OFF AND BEGIN AGAIN.